A Dream's Reality
by Delectable Sweetness
Summary: She didn't think there was a word to describe how she felt every morning when she woke up, when reality sunk back in and her dreams were only dreams. She wished she could stay asleep forever, never having to wake up and never having to let go of her!


**Disclaimer: I do not own Warehouse 13 or any of its characters. No copy infringement intended. However, I do own my own writing, my own characters and the plot to this story, Delectable Sweetness©.**

**Author's Note: My first Warehouse 13 fic. Got a little inspired and thought that I would give it a go. :)**

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A Dream's Reality

The brown and yellow leaves fell down around her as she stood under the tall Oak tree, her tear-filled eyes glistening in the autumn sun. She wrapped her black, leather jacket around herself just a little tighter, the cool breeze sending a chill throughout her entire body. The breeze blew through the long strands of her hair, making them blow wildly around her face.

She sniffled.

She missed the way _she_ would delicately run her fingers through her hair when _she_ was trying to help her relax. She missed the way _her _head used to take up a position on her chest every single night, the way _she_ used to kiss her, how it felt when they used to make... love.

She missed that stupid scowl, the fact that _she_ could sometimes be a little too overbearing, _her_ stubbornness, that little smile that _she_ saved for her and only her, the way _she_ used to tell her that _she_ loved her every moment of every day, the way _her_ warm hands felt against her body.

But more importantly, she missed just being able to love _her_, and be loved by _her!_

The tears began streaming down her face as she swallowed hard, her body beginning to shake from her silent sobs. She stared across the expanse of green grass in front of her, the ten feet seeming like a hundred. She thought she would have been able to do this today, but she found that she couldn't. She was once again reminded of how painful it had been to lose her daughter, her Christina and so, she couldn't make her feet take the steps that would get her there.

It had been a year since it had happened, since _she_ had been cruelly taken away from her. A year today since that damn mishap in the warehouse, - it was supposed to have been just simple inventory, but an out of control artefact had collided with her and had knocked her off of the ladder that she had been standing on - and it still wasn't getting any easier. Sometimes she still found it hard to face the fact that _she _was no longer here, that _she_ was gone… forever, and _she_ wasn't coming back. That fact seemed to hurt her the most.

_She_ had been the only one to make her feel good about herself, to make her feel wanted and special and desired… especially after she had tried to end the world. _She_ had helped her heal. The hole that had been left in her life since Christina had died had been stitched up thanks to _her_, a few stitches always coming loose whenever she thought about her daughter. But _she_ always knew how to fix them again.

But now those stitches had long since burst, and there was no-one left to fix them for her.

She sniffled again, a stray tear rolling down her cheek.

Not having _her_ to wake up to every morning for the last year had been agonising at best. At worst, it had been heart-wrenching. No, heart crushing! Actually, she didn't think there was a word to describe how she felt every morning when she woke up, when reality sunk back in and her dreams were only dreams. The only time that she would see _her _now was in her dreams. She sighed. She wished she could stay asleep forever, never having to wake up and never having to let go of _her._

_Come on, pull yourself together,_ she thought frustratingly to herself. _It's been a year, get a grip! _ She rolled her brown eyes angrily at herself.

She frowned.

Why was she angry at herself?

_Because you're a fool!_

She had the right to grieve, didn't she?

_But do you really?_

She had the right to miss the woman she loved, right?

_Why, she was only your_ _girlfriend! Nobody thought you were good enough for her!_

Her thoughts mocked and jeered her, but she knew that they were right. She had never thought that she had been good enough for _her._ She had always felt so inadequate compared to _her._ It was funny – she was the great H.G. Wells, brilliant and a genius, yet around _her_, she had just simply been Helena and so, she would trade all that just to have _her_ back in her life again, back in her arms.

And so, she knew that _she _had deserved so much more than her, and _her_ father had agreed with her, too.

_Her_ father had never approved of their relationship, he had never approved of her! He had hated her from the moment he had met her and she had had no idea why. All she had ever done was love his daughter. All she had done was given her heart away to the one person that had mattered the most to her. But that hadn't been good enough for _her_ father. He had always thought that his daughter had deserved so much better than her. And maybe _she_ had, but _she_ had never felt that way.

_She_ had always assured her that _she_ had loved her and only her, that she was all that _she_ had wanted. And she had believed her, too. Because their love for each other was like no other. It was strong, sweet, tender, and… passionate. That had been good enough for the both of them.

She closed her eyes, thinking.

What was that saying again?

_Time's supposed to heal all wounds?_

That was it!

She sniffled once again.

Bringing her hand up, she dried her tender, red eyes, the cloth of her jacket sleeve feeling like sand paper as she rubbed it along her brown orbs. Time had most certainly not healed her wounds. In fact, they were still gaping wide open… for everyone to see. But they didn't see. They thought that she was fine, that she had finally learned to deal with it.

But that was their mistake.

Or was it hers?

She had put on so many brave faces; so many masks over the last year that people had finally thought that she had healed from the loss of _her._ But she could never be healed.

She sometimes found herself wondering if they thought that she would try to destroy the world again. Honestly, there were times when she felt like it, but she knew that she couldn't. It would be a betrayal to everything_ she_ had done for her.

A sob caught in her throat.

All she wanted…

She just wanted…

She wanted… her back!

Coming out of her thoughts, she looked straight ahead. This was her first time here since _she_ had been buried. It now seemed so long ago. She sighed slightly. She supposed a year was a long time. She had never had the courage to do this, though… until now. Her thoughts and feelings were ones of hurt and anger, but maybe her friends were right. Maybe it was time. Maybe it would finally help her heal.

Scrubbing a hand across her face, she stood up a little straighter, trying to find some of the composure and confidence that she had once retained. Over time it seemed to have disappeared, leaving instead a fragile mask. That fragile mask had slowly become a permanent fixture on her face, never leaving, not for anything.

She had been going through the daily motions of life wearing _that mask_.

Letting out a shaky breath, she shook her head slightly as she put one foot forward and then another. It felt good to move. She had been standing in that spot for the last three hours.

She stepped forward again… and again… and again… until there was less than a foot between her and her destination.

A small smile graced her soft lips. She had finally found the courage to close that gap.

Reaching out a trembling hand, she placed it against the ice, cold marble.

"Sorry it took so long."

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**Author's Note: So what did you think? Was it any good? A little sad I think. **

**Review please. :)**


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